A long tradition

About us

Remembering them, supporting you.

It is frequently said that the grief of bereaved parents is the most intense grief known. When a child dies, parents feel that a part of them has died, that a vital and core part of them has been ripped away.

The most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving.

The Vishaal Foundation was founded to help reduce the emotional distress of losing an infant or child due to miscarriage, neonatal death or other causes.

We offer genuine understanding, support and sign-posting where appropriate. If you think we could be of help please do get in touch. We are listening. 

In memory of those who left too soon, but who will always remain deeply embedded within our hearts.

The Vishaal Foundation is a Charitable Trust that enables parents, families friends to come together and remember and honour their Little Angels through the services we hold. Our services are not just for parents, they are open to anybody who has been touched by such loss. A sibling may become an only child; a younger child may become the oldest or the only child; the middle child may no longer have that title; or the parents may never be able to, or perhaps may choose not to, have another child. Nonetheless, the birth order of the child who died is fixed permanently in the minds and hearts of the parents.

The single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal. So never stop talking and never feel you are alone.

History

Twenty nine weeks in to my pregnancy what was a dream come true turned in to a horrific nightmare. There were complications that were not picked up by the hospital staff and even though I was 1 cm dilated I was sent home to rest. Sadly, I did not argue the decision, I thought the Doctors knew best however unbeknown to me, I was silently dilating throughout the night and as my cervix was fully open my baby caught an infection which proved to be fatal.
The saddest part of all this is an antibiotic that cost only £13.00 would have saved the life of my child but in England you are not offered this under the NHS where as in America every pregnant women is given this antibiotic as routine procedure, here that is not the case and as well as this there is no information or advise about Streptococcus and as in my case you only hear of the drug when it is too late.
My experience of giving birth and the subsequent events are tragic as am sure are each one of yours and as such I will not go in to now as this is not just about our story, it is about every parent who has lost their baby and have travelled the same path as we did……as we do.
Our beautiful baby boy who we named Vishaal (meaning Infinite/Eternal) was born at 8.54 am on Wednesday 12th November aged 29 weeks and 4 days, weighing 2 pounds 6 ounces. The one thing that I have seen from the start of this nightmare is how having a baby who dies is still a very taboo subject; nobody really wants to talk about it. For those closest to our hearts, they have no memories of that baby as it may have only been a day old, a week old or maybe a few months, it is a memory in time but is gone and as with it all the memories that may have been go to.

Care

When my son died, the hospital staff took us to a family room which allowed us the night to have him and hold him and shower him with the love of a lifetime, however this room was within the Maternity unit where all you could here were crying babies and all you could see on walking out of the room were happy families who were marvelling in the delight of their new born child whilst we were laying in a bed with our new born, listless beside us, changing colour and in our state of total of shock we were singing him lullabies whilst our hearts were screaming willing him to wake up.
Everything about the experience we had was wrong; there were no specialist on hand, nobody to explain why this happened. My husband had to leave me at the hospital to get a birth and death certificate for our son who we named Vishaal Bedi. Going to do this took every bit of his strength; I will never forget how he looked as he left nor his sadness at having to be kept waiting there for two hours whilst the staff were processing other forms for people in line. Finally when he got both certificates and came back to the hospital he realised the clerk on duty had completed the certificates incorrectly and given a birth date of 13th November and a death date of 12th November. He did not want me to know this and kept the certificates from me and then arranged to go back and have it changed. It amazes me that there is no sympathy in such places for parents who have circumstances such as ours and again this is something I want to work on changing.

Life after Vishaal

Vishaal left our lives and my husband and I very slowly learnt to how to start breathing, walking and living again, to the world we were ok, we would soon have another child and we would then forget this happened, only we knew the true enormity of what we were facing. There was days that I had to stop myself from going to the Cemetery and digging those 6 feet of mud to enable me to hold my son again. Dead or alive that is your child, having him for a day, a year or for 10 years, it is your child and nothing changes that. You start loving that baby as soon as you conceive and that love does not stop it continues to grow. When you lose a child, you do not know what to do with that love, it sits within your being waiting for that child and it starts to suffocate you, you need to release it but you have nowhere to do this as your baby is gone and all that nurturing, the love you hold is there but you cannot give it to that one person you crave.
A parent who suffers this loss has to soon get back to what the world sees as normality. They go back to work and act like it never happened. You can bring in pictures of your child’s first smile but of course nobody wants to see the few treasured photos of a child who has passed away. Other mothers who were pregnant at the same time as you bring their bundle of joy in to work and you have to go and congratulate them and smile when inside your actually dying.
Why Little Angels?

 

What got to me time and time again is the total insignificance a baby who passes away has. Because there are no memories, they never had a room full of toys, they do not have Birthday photos and they never had a chance to sit on your families lap and receive the love they so deserve. Because you were unable to beam with pride on their first day of School and they were unable to make a mother’s day or father’s day card, because you could not call your loved to say, yippee, he said his first word that child has no measure in this life. Are memories the only things that make a person love or can you love without having those memories? Ask any parent who has lost and they will tell you, you CAN love without memories, you go on loving without memories, you go on yearning for a child you did not get to know but yet who is so deeply a part of your world. People talk about families who have had to face the horrific tragedy of losing their child; we unfortunately have had this happen in our family last April with my 11 year old Niece passing away. We have the comfort of talking about her as a family, we have pictures and memories and we have so many cherished moments and memories of that darling amazing girl who we all loved wholeheartedly. Somehow though by having those memories people think that life is more significant, people think the pain of that loss must be far worse but I will tell them there is no better or no worse. If I could have one memory of my child with a smile on his face, if I could have one moment with him in which I was able to hold him and hear his heart beat, if I was able to look at his body and see his fingers and toes wiggling, if I was able to hear him say the word MA just once, if I could have just one memory, maybe I would be a different women today.
There are parents who have lost their precious babies through miscarriage and others who are only granted a fleeting moment. Parents have sat by their babies incubators for a day and some for months, each praying and willing their baby to make it only to all then suffer the same fate of loosing the most precious thing in the world. You have dreams of this baby to come, you love it as soon as it is conceived only to be parted without the chance to nature your baby and know their wondrous personality. I am so fortunate to have had a baby after Vishaal however there are others who were Mum and Dad for a short time however a very cruel fate stripped them of this title, what justice is there in this?
This insignificance is the ultimate drive that has led me to form Little Angels. We have nothing is England that recognises the pain of a family nor honours the memory of those who left too soon, but who will always remain deeply embedded within our hearts and I felt we need this, I felt I had to do this.
Why Wave of Light?

15th October is recognised in many parts of the world as Pregnancy and Child Loss Remembrance Day. To mark his day, many countries hold a Wave of Light Service during which participants are invited to light a candle in remembrance of their precious child.

Every year on 15th October, Vishaal Foundation welcomes anybody who has been touched by the unimaginable grief and emotional distress that comes from the loss of a child at any point during pregnancy, childhood, or into adulthood, due to any cause, or for any reason.

As the clock strikes 7 pm, we will gently float personalised lanterns on the lake, forming a ripple of light in honour and remembrance of our angels gone too soon.

Meet our team

  • Madhu is the founder of the Vishaal foundation. She wanted to ensure that no one else would ever have to endure the isolation she and others before her went through. Over the first few years of losing Vishaal, Madhu became more determined to do something. She believes this was the starting point of her extensive community work. Madhu has worked for Slough Borough Council as a Community Liaison Officer and currently works for Radian on projects that support the wellbeing of people in isolation. Madhu is passionate about bridging gaps in service provision and is currently the selected nominee for her political party to serve as Councillor in a Slough ward from May 2016.

    - Madhu Bedi

  • Alistair Stewart is a founding trustee of the Vishaal Foundation, and has acted throughout as the secretary. He is responsible for ensuring that the Foundation acts lawfully as a charity. He attended the first Little Angels service, after losing his son, Patrick, at birth in 2010. After this he worked with Madhu to set up the foundation, having received great comfort and help from attending the service, and wanting other grieving parents to find the same consolation.

    - Alistair C. Stewart

  • Mark is the Manager of E Sargeant & Son, Funeral Directors and has been pleased to provide full support to the Foundation from both a professional and personal viewpoint. Mark came into the funeral industry in 2012 following a 20 years career at London Heathrow Airport. His aim was to work in a vocational position enabling him to deliver a service of care to people in the community. Having suffered the loss of his 16-year-old daughter in a car crash on Christmas Day in 2005. Mark fully appreciates the importance of having dedicated support services available. Upon embarking on a career at E Sargeant & Son, Mark instantly recognised the potential for the Vishaal Foundation and the support that it could grow to provide to grieving parents. Mark’s ambition for the Foundation is to grow its service offering and he takes great personal comfort from the events that he has organised for the Vishaal Foundation.

    - Mark Clements

  • Suzanne was born in Hillingdon, Middlesex and is a priest in the Church of England. She is married and has two adult children and two young granddaughters. Suzanne was asked to conduct the first Little Angels Remembrance Service back in 2012 and has been closely linked to the organisation ever since. Gently supporting and helping families at this heart-breaking time is a ministry close to Suzanne's heart and she feels the Vishaal Foundation provides a vital service to families in their darkest hours, who often don't know which way to turn.

    - Rev. Suzanne Johnson

  • Lavinia is a master graduate from Coventry University currently works in banking. She has been committed to assist with making Vishaal Foundation more visible. Lavinia is skilled in with social media, visual tools and marketing process and she has the ability to empathise with our service users. Lavinia is a humanitarian who is always looking for ways to help other. We met Lavinia in 2015 and since she has made a huge impact on our image. One of Lavinia’s key values is to help others and she says she is proud to support the work of the Vishaal Foundation on a voluntary basis.

    - Lavinia Tustiu

  • - Sandra Malik

We get a lot of help from

Our Partners

E Sargeant & Son, Funeral Directors

‘During pregnancy planning commences for the new gift of love and life, list upon lists are made of all the new purchases – the pram, a cot, clothes, what name, girl or boy – So many exciting decisions. Then out of nowhere a full stop to plans – your baby dies and then sets in the harrowing reality of a different plan and decisions about organising your child’s funeral – which funeral directors, coffins, death certificates, flowers, what to say about your child at the funeral.

We turned to E Sargeant & Son for Vishaal’s funeral. The emotional support and understanding they gave us was exactly what we needed at the time. They also gave me the comfort of knowing Vishaal was being looked after with great care as well as allowing our family and friends to spend time with Vishaal throughout the day and night. They supported us from the day we called them to the day Vishaal was buried and beyond. When I thought of doing something in recognition of our babies, E Sargeant & Son came to mind and I called them to explain my vision. From that very first call they have continued to support the Foundation and if it were not for their dedication & commitment, we would be unable to hold the services we do.’

Madhu Bedi

E Sargeant & Son, Funeral Directors, was established in 1712 and is one of the oldest businesses in Slough. An office has been at 40 Church Street, Slough since 1922 with the office in Windsor being acquired in 1923. The third office, located in Maidenhead, was opened in 1991.

With the extensive history and presence of E Sargeant & Son covering over 300 years the Company feels it is vitally important that it supports the local community wherever possible. The Company has been a supporter of The Vishaal Foundation since 2011 and holds the values and aims of The Foundation close to its heart. E Sargeant & Son understands the importance of the nurturing work completed by the Foundation and commits to support this work for years to come.

Slough Borough Council

Slough Borough Council formed a partnership with The Vishaal Foundation when approached by Madhu in 2012 to help host a memorial service in our chapel followed by the lighting of candles and a balloon release within our grounds. Since then we have supported the foundation in hosting their annual Little Angels Memorial Service by supplying the chapel and staff at no cost and have been on hand to help throughout the event to ensure it is a memorable occasion for all attending. We are happy to help in other ways such as erecting posters around the cemetery grounds and within the crematorium memorial gardens prior to the Foundations events.

We have now hosted The Little Angels Memorial Service for 3 years and it is a pleasure to see it grow with the help of local funeral directors, ministers and volunteers who give their time freely to help support families who have suffered the loss of their child.

Occasions Singers

Occasions Singers have been supporting the valuable work of The Vishaal Foundation for 4 years. The group comprises highly experienced singers bonded together by their love of choral music. They perform at special events and memorials throughout the year, and can all personally testify to the soothing and healing qualities of choral music.

The group provides inspiring and uplifting choral harmonies at the Little Angels Memorial Services, and always feels privileged to draw alongside those who are suffering loss whether recently, or in years gone by.
Each singer carries their own experience of loss, and recognises that, with time, the pain may diminish but never goes away. Occasions Singers provide a sensitive choral backdrop, enabling those who attend the Memorial Service to feel comforted and in a safe place; a place where memories and emotions can be shared with those who understand.

Herschel Park volunteer group

‘It gives me and all the volunteers and friends of Herschel Park great pride that the Vishaal foundation has chosen to hold some of its services in our park. We take pleasure in our ability to help out in a small way by facilitating these serene services in the grounds of our beautiful park.

The tranquil setting makes the perfect backdrop to the emotional and moving services and helps to set the tone for people to express their feelings. We are totally committed to the events organised by the Foundation and our hope is to continue working with the trustees to ensure we provide a place for families to feel at home enough to come back to the park at any time to reflect and enjoy the surroundings as well as their memories.’ Herschel Park Management Officer, Ian Judd